a bit missing

i haven't truly felt like my true self for a long time. not even sure when that part of me disappeared. but i'm looking forward to meeting her again and see how she's changed since we were last together.

my previous post was upbeat, and although there was much optimism there, i still don't think i was truly in that moment. i've been struggling a lot with living in the moment recently. my head is full of sadness and anxieties, yet i've been surrounded by so many incredible people and friends for over a month now.

i think about my family constantly, and admire my parents in ways they will never know. i dream that someday i may find even half of what they have found with each other. it's absolutely incredible. and on top of that, they have been huge inspirations and close friends of mine my entire life. i don't know how i got so lucky.

traveling around and feeling the love of friends and family has been much needed, but a reminder that i'm not the complete person they have known for so many years. and it's frustrating knowing how many new people have crossed my path recently, but haven't caught a glimpse of everything that makes me shine........a glimpse of the real superkate......

so i sit back.....check my email......read a book......disappear into music.....make another attempt at a full night's sleep.....and patiently wait for the dust to settle so that i may see a familiar face in the mirror again.....feel that energy inside that makes me, and isn't easily tossed to the side by others. i miss her. but i can feel she's going to blow me away as much as she will everyone else.

New Possibilities

I've been moving in several different directions, both mentally and physically, over the last few months. I'm getting to know myself again in a way that only happens when everything gets tossed in the air. At the moment, I don't have a solid plan past mid-September. And while I'm very excited about that, I'm battling the urge to nest. I've always felt very confident in the ebb and flow of life as long as I had, what I considered, home to go to at the end of the day.

I'm currently living in someone else's apartment, and due to the amount of stuff already here, I won't be adding much of my life to it. And please don't think I'm complaining, because I'm not. I'm learning to live with very few belongings. This practice of minimalism has recharged my desire to do away with everything in my storage unit.

New York City has never really called to me. I've had a couple opportunities to move here, but ended up choosing other cities or passions. I wonder if I was supposed to experience those things first, because eventually life would lead me to NYC for a longer haul. I have many expectations of this city. Living in Los Angeles, spoiled me in ways that NYC hasn't been able to compete with yet. Granted....I've only been here a week and a half, sans my boss, so I haven't really dug into the scene. I'll be back here in a week and plan to explore.....visit some parks, museums, make several more attempts at finding a good club.

I'm also making more progress in saying 'Yes'. And while I've had a pretty good attitude towards that practice most of my life, I want more. My friend Tiffanie wrote a wonderful blog that comes very close to where I'm at in my life right now.

http://tiffanie-moment-by-moment.blogspot.com/2011/07/alive.html

To go along with 'Yes', I'm pushing myself in more creative directions. I catch myself saying "These are such simple things, Kate, why haven't you done this before?" And honestly, the best answer I have is that I was just lazy. I'm taking the time to journal, doodle, sketch items I see just to practice the art of drawing, and learning new instruments. I started with the ukulele a few months ago, and just recently started on the guitar. I've struggled with the guitar in the past because the transition from violin was a new skill for my hands. But thanks to a friend, who is a great teacher, I've learned an easier way to hold the guitar, and how to read guitar tabs. He also taught me "Blackbird". I practice it everyday. I struggle with the picking on the strings, but you can definitely tell what song I'm playing. Not sure what song to tackle next. I have a real sense of accomplishment that I haven't felt for a while, and it's exciting. I had thought for the longest time that my fingers just weren't meant to play a guitar for some strange reason, but that excuse doesn't hold up when you see a string of Chinese kids, all of whom are likely 5 years old, playing full-size guitars. The first few days I was learning to play on a smaller guitar, but today I practiced on a full-size. New learning curve, but I'm ready for it.

There is so much possibility ahead. I must remember to stay in the moment. I can't help but get excited about what may happen, but some of those are dreams......dreams that will come true, some that won't...but in the end, more dreams and opportunities will appear and the cycle will repeat.

I will say YES more often. I will embrace vulnerability.

It's going to be amazing.

Back to blogging??

It's been over a year since my last entry. Several things have changed since then. I'm not sure what to get into at the moment, but I've been feeling a strong urge to write in the last few weeks.

I've never been one to write about my life, I'm more of a talker. I started writing my own version of morning pages and feel a difference on the days when I wake up too late to unload my thoughts on the paper. Although most of my thoughts revolve around my own daily frustrations and how I'd like to change my life, it's a small weight off my shoulders when I can drop some of them into a notebook.

I don't plan on this blog being an emotional dumping ground (although it helped me to do that in the past). I would just like to start documenting moments in my life. This journey through life has taken some interesting turns, and sometimes the lessons have been hard. But I feel very fortunate to be able to learn from my mistakes and have really enjoyed the ridiculousness of it all.

SuperKate's Next Show

Malice Dreaming Productions presents:


Winterbourne

: a stream or river that is dry through the summer months :

.....dance celebrating the season of Winter-related storylines............

at Studio A Dance
2306 Hyperion Ave
Los Angeles, CA 90027

Friday, January 29th

Show repeats twice in one night:
1st show at 8:00pm
2nd show at 10:00pm

This is a donation-based advance ticket only show. This is my seasonal gift to you, dance lovers and patrons!

Donations must be forwarded via Paypal by using the button at the website: www.malicedreaming.com/news.html

Detailed information on how this all works also found at the website.

The deadline for donations to be submitted is THURSDAY, Jan 28th at 11:00pm
Any donations received after this deadline will not be recorded at the door list that will be at the venue where you will be admitted to the show.

No exceptions, no refunds!

I am limiting the ticket sales to 40 seats per show. This is less than the venue's regular capacity, but I want to make this a more personal show, and have a more spacious, comfortable environment for you as the audience. This could, however, result in tickets for shows becoming sold out sooner!

Don't wait - reserve your space today!!

A New Step

I've been sitting at my computer, trying to figure out how to break this news. Unfortunately there's no easy way to say it. At the end of September, I will be moving to Lexington, KY. This transition is full of mixed emotions for me. I have made so many friends and connections since I moved to Los Angeles. It's hard to believe it's only been five years. I feel I've known many of you much longer than that. And I feel very confident knowing these relationships will continue for many years to come.
While my permanent address may be in Lexington for the next couple years, I will still be traveling around. I'm already scheduled to perform in shows and workshops around the U.S.

Belly Horror ---- October 23 & 24 ---- Washington D.C. www.bellyhorror.com

Subee Djinn Workshop ---- February 6 ---- Oasis Dance Studio, Highland, CA www.oasisdancestudio.net

I will be selling a variety of items on Craigs List. Most of these are going to be pieces of furniture. I'll try to post links as I list them. I'm selling things to raise money for the move. If you would like to donate to my moving fund, you can Paypal me at poindex9@hotmail.com.

I cannot express how much I've enjoyed the last few years here in LA. This city and the people in it have touched me more than I ever expected. Thank you.

Silas's New Planet

Planet Pluchy (ploo-shee)

Size: 2 million suns large
Galaxy: Orion Arm (not in the Milky Way)
Inhabitants: Giant Flying Fish Creatures
Surface: Ocean
Weather: Constant hurricanes (that the fish really like)

Pluchy is so large that stars actually orbit around it without being pulled into the planet.

Constant daytime due to the stars that revolve around the planet, but the hurricanes block out most of the light. So the average temperature on Pluchy is 65 degrees fahrenheit.

The Giant Flying Fish Creatures (which is their name) are as big as a whale shark. They're dark blue and extremely dangerous. They have 600 teeth. The head and torso are like a fish, with the fins having a wingspan of 120 feet. They have a lower body like that of a squid with the addition of a tail.



This new discovery is brought to you by Silas on June 9, 2009. Hopefully we'll have picture documentation soon.

One of these days I'll write about the absolute beauty of Sciamachy. And I'll write more about my upcoming ideas.
Until then, here's the info on my next show!!!

I'm extremely excited about my new production company, Ninth Spiral. I'm constantly inspired by the amazing artists around me. I have begun the adventure of bringing them together to create some amazing shows.

My first show is on Saturday, March 14, 2009. That's two weeks from now. I have an unbelievable cast of performers and I hope you're able to share this experience with me. This show will present dancers, musicians, and singers.
Make sure to get your tickets early!!!

Sciamachy::: fighting a shadow

An evening of live art: Dance & music.
Inspired by the battles we fight within ourselves.

Saturday, March 14, 2009
Showtimes: 7pm & 9pm

Price: $15

Featuring:
SuperKate
Malice Dreaming
Rory Vallis
Elysium Dance Theatre
Nikii Henry
Liz Hoefner & Yorgos Adamis
Lucas Rodenbush
Timur & the Petrovic Blasting Co.

For information and tickets go to:

www.ninthspiral.com

http://sciamachy.eventbrite.com

new year.... NEW SHOWS!!!!

So many awesome things happening in the new year!! Several months ago I got a creative bug that I couldn't shake even if I wanted to. But trust me, I absolutely don't want to shake it. I've never felt this excited and scared in my life. I have so many ideas and I'm trying to find ways to get them out as quickly as possible, and at the same time wanting all the ideas to be beautifully polished too.

Ninth Spiral is my new production company. As much as I love being known as SuperKate, I feel this name is more professional. This is where much of my creative energy will be fueled through from here on out. I have at least 3 shows planned for this year alone. And that does not include productions that I'll be involved with as SuperKate. I'm surrounded by an incredible number of artists and I can't wait to tap into their passions.

My first production of the year is called "Sciamachy." It will be on Saturday, March 14. You can go to www.ninthspiral.com for more information and ticket sales. I've gathered a great group of artists for this show so far. And I have a few more to add to the list soon. This show is meant to showcase different artistic disciplines. I personally will not really be performing any bellydance. I have two pieces in the show and am extremely proud of both of them. One of them is the piece I performed at Shadowdance in Oakland. So now everyone in LA has the opportunity to see it.

On top of my regular jobs, currently I have 3 of them, I've joined up with Zoo District theatre company. I'm stage managing their production of Murray Mednick's "The Destruction of the 4th World." I've definitely missed the theatre world. It's exciting and inspiring sitting in rehearsals. Watching and listening to the actors and directors dissect the play, its words, and find meaning and purpose. This show will start previews on March 19 and open the following week. It's running in rep with another show for the following 3 weeks.

Not sure if you noticed, but I'm producing a show just days before the theatre production is running in front of audiences. Was this a crazy bit of scheduling?? Yes. Was it necessary for my sanity??.....Yes. I'm confident that I'll be able to handle everything, and this will be an incredibly busy few weeks. Did I mention that I will be in tech for the theatre production the day after my show? Woooohooooo!!!! Living in live theatre!! My soul is smiling.