It has been almost 3 months and 10 days exactly since my dad died. Not a day has passed that I don't think about him. And while it's been hard for me, I will probably never know what my mom has gone through. You see…..they had an incredible relationship. I know nothing is perfect, but to anyone who knows them, or has heard their story, there isn't a better word than perfect to describe their love. They were partners and best friends. My brother and I were the lucky ones to see this love first hand.
Now, many of you know that I'm a romantic. I even make fun of myself sometimes because of the cheesy nature of the movies and tv shows I watch. But the truth is, while most people see those story lines and mock them for their impracticalities, I see them and know they are possible. This has been a bit of a double-edged sword in my love life, but it's not a bad one to have.
I remember sitting with Pop last Christmas. It was one of the last times we had any long talks together. He kept going on and on about how lucky he was to have my mom in his life. And he hoped that he had not used up all the luck, because he wanted my brother and I to experience this amazing thing in our lives too. Some of my friends have said this wasn't a very kind or hopeful thing for him to say, but I know what he meant. How do you expect your family to win the jackpot, once you feel you've already won the prize of a lifetime?
I've had many talks with people about how the world is shifting and relationships don't happen like they used to, and how people's lives and expectations are shifting. I do agree with many of these things. And as a result, each day passes and I come to terms more and more with my life as a woman who is not in a relationship…..a woman who might not find that relationship.
Tonight I watched another romantic movie….actually, it was the second time I've watched it. And it got me thinking and wishing again…… I do want the fairy tale…… It's anyone's guess if it will ever happen or not. And if it doesn't, I'm going to be okay with it because I was at least able to experience it indirectly, and that makes me pretty damn lucky.
